An Approach to Time

An Approach to Time

 

Time; there’s never enough of it. No matter how much I feel like I can get done in a single day, I end up proving myself wrong day after day, expecting more of myself than twenty-four hours could ever allow. Maybe it’s the need to be satiated by what other people create while also creating myself that makes it so difficult for me to register the importance of time until it’s already spilled through my fingers. Or maybe it’s the need to contribute to the world outside of busywork projects and every little idea that pops into my head. I want to do it all, to the point where a priorities list just becomes a list of everything I haven’t achieved yet. But I am missing the one resource necessary to get all of it done, to break through that forsaken catalog of ideas and one by one start crossing off accomplishments. I am missing time.

 

It’s not about ambition, or anything having to do with remembrance. It’s just how many opportunities I can see before me, a world of possibility that I want to reach out and grab. But, as I go to do so, my fingers split off from one another. They find their ways to the possibilities I was longing for, but they never have enough strength to grasp them. They remain just as they were, possible, but never as anything other than a dream. It isn’t that I don’t have the strength to take one up and make it my own. It’s that there are so many that I can’t carry. And, once more, I find myself approaching the issue, but never to try and solve it. Instead I simply look, hoping that there can be some other way to make it all into anything other than gibberish. But there isn’t. It’s simply a matter of time.

 

Writing about it, reflecting on it, I can see that it’s not so much a problem with time as it is a problem with me. Even if everything feels like a priority, not everything should be treated as such. It’s all about trying to parse out what there is you can do to better that time management and ensure to yourself that you’re doing it right. Maybe you will be, maybe you won’t be, but you have to try. I have to try. Otherwise, how am I supposed to get anything done? I don’t want to leave anything half-finished anymore. There’s no better starting point than the present, than trying right here and now to better it so that when I set a schedule, when I see what’s important in front of me, it truly comes to light.

 

It’s time.